The Hetmanate of The Zirkovian Host is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Ladislav Yarov with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, keen interest in outer space, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 2.791 billion Zirkovians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zirkov. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 25.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Zirkovian Hostian economy, worth 362 trillion Hryvnias a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Automobile Manufacturing, and Pizza Delivery. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 129,987 Hryvnias, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 484,915 per year while the poor average 24,431, a ratio of 19.8 to 1.

The military conducts 'training exercises' in prisons, bemused schoolkids colour in their favourite quadratic equations with crayons, the news of budget cuts leaves a sour taste in Zirkovian Hostian mouths, and foreign spirits are hard to find due to an abundance of "Cletus and Jim Bob's Homemade Zirkovian Hostian Moonshine". Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Zirkovian Host's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Astrianism.

The Zirkovian Host is ranked 167,043^rd in the world and 43^rd in The Galactics Union for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 50 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.